After Math: The new normal

This week sure went sideways in a hurry. After Hillary Clinton's stunning election night collapse, the American people are now faced with four years of well, whatever sorts of fresh hell the President-elect's administration unleashes upon us. Gitmo is getting better Wi-Fi, Facebook denied all responsibility in spreading FUD throughout the election, the internet's worst people are bolder than ever and the Navy can't even afford bullets for its brand-new destroyer. Numbers, what are they good for? Not predicting presidential elections, apparently.

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5,500

That's how many military families will soon enjoy 4G LTE from T-Mobile at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, an amenity that was previously unavailable. So I guess we're not actually going to be closing the base down any time soon.